Today we are continuing our conversation on partnership with God. Over the past two weeks, we have been looking at one side of the coin, and today we will be walking around and looking at the other side.jaco

Let me explain.

We looked at Jesus feeding the 5000. It was an impossible moment–there was no way the disciples could feed all the people, no way the boy’s lunch could feed all of the people. Yet Jesus didn’t just tell the disciples to step back as He went to work. He didn’t roll His eyes at the boy’s lunch of fish and bread. Jesus partnered with the disciples and with the boy. They were part of what Jesus was doing.

This is a theme in Scripture. Page after page of Scripture is filled with God’s partnership with humanity–not in humanity’s perfection or incredible ability or knowing God perfectly. God’s character, on display over and over again, is that He desires a relationship with humanity and in that relationship, He partners with us to accomplish His will and way.

Last week we looked at Joseph. This partnership-with-God thing is not without its highs and lows. Joseph faced family tension (that’s an understatement!) because of the favoritism of his dad and because of his obliviousness to his pride and privilege. He was nearly killed by his brothers and sold into slavery. Joseph rose to a great position in his slavery but was entrapped by his master’s wife and then was forgotten in prison. Joseph was given the ability to interpret Pharaoh’s dream, and he rose again to a great place of authority, through years of great abundance and years of great famine. Joseph walked all of these highs and lows out, and because of them he was in a place to provide for his family during the famine.

Partnership with God is amazing. But that does not ensure or promise that life will be easy, smooth, abundant, or without incredible hardship during that partnership.

We have been looking at and processing the amazing reality that God wants to partner with us. But today we walk to the other side of the coin: just because God desires relationship and partnership with us does not mean He will force it. It is a very real possibility to turn our faces from partnering with God and just try to do things on our own.

Today we are doing the prequel to Joseph and looking at his dad’s life–at Jacob. Jacob was a twin with Esau. Before they were born, Rebekah, their mom, had a vision from the Lord:

The Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.” (Genesis 25:23)

This was an unusual declaration in their culture, the younger being over the older. But God made this declaration, a promise. And then Jacob, from day one, spends his life trying to get, achieve, steal, grab, overpower, solely accomplish–all in order to get what God has already given.

I think this is so easy to do, to say to God, “You wait here, God. I got this.”

What are some reasons why people try to do things on their own, even when it is obvious that it would be easier to not do things on their own?

The list of reasons can go on and on: It is more work to ask for help. I don’t know who would help. I don’t want to be a burden. I can do it better on my own. I don’t trust people. There just isn’t anyone there to help. It is my responsibility. I am supposed to be self-sufficient. I don’t want to be weak or a failure. I am embarrassed that I need help…

Now imagine a moment where you are in need of help. It could be external or internal, intense or minor. But there is no question that in this moment, you need help. And something amazing happens–the need for help and someone willing to help have come together. A friend, a family member, a coworker, a neighbor, or even a stranger is not just available, but has offered to help.

But something happens. You–needing help–look into the face of the person offering to help, and you say, “Oh, I’m okay. You don’t need to help with this.” Go beyond the reasons we just listed and look at what is happening on the inside.

What is happening inside of a person that declines help while it is being offered?

One more conversation before we jump into the story of Jacob. We have talked about the reasons why people don’t accept help. We have talked about what is happening inside of a person that declines the offer of help. But the reality is that those two questions are about a conscious decision to not accept help. But there is also an unconscious factor to not taking or accepting help or partnership.

What are some of the unconscious, unintentional reasons people don’t accept help?

What is happening inside of a person who is oblivious to their need for help?

So we step into the story of Jacob, the grandson of Abraham. This is the dad of Joseph, so it’s the prequel to what we looked at last week. Jacob’s parents were Isaac and Rebekah. And Rebekah, while pregnant with Jacob and his twin brother Esau, felt like there was a wrestling match in her womb. And she prays and hears from God.

The Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.” (Genesis 25:23)

This is a repeated pattern in Scripture:

“So the last will be first, and the first will be last.” (Matthew 20:16)

Over and over again, we see God using the unexpected. The least. The unimpressive. The average. The normal. And the same pattern is lived out in Jacob.

But there is a wrestling match. This is a theme in Jacob's life. There is what is promised (from before Jacob was born, he was promised to be blessed)--and yet Jacob fights for what was always promised to him. He fights for it on his own. He doesn’t trust what God has promised, but tries to get it by his own power and ability. He pushes, fights, strives, lies, cheats, and manipulates, in spite of how it affects the people around him. All to try to strongarm what God has already promised.

This battle started early. When Jacob and Esau were born, the first son Esau was born covered in hair (this will matter later), and then Jacob was born, grabbing onto Esau’s heel, just trying to get out of the womb first.

After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau’s heel; so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them. (Genesis 25:26)

From the get-go, he’s fighting to get what was already promised to him. Sibling rivalry at its finest: “I was here first. No, I was here first.” And the sibling rivalry doesn’t ease up. Esau was Isaac’s favorite, while Jacob was Rebekah’s favorite.

Don't forget the promise that Rebekah heard from God. Jacob still is doing his best to go after it–under his own power–to get what God has already given, already promised.

One day - Esau comes home from hunting and is starving. Jacob was home and had made a tasty stew. Just what he wanted and NEEDED–some tasty stew! And his conniving brother (Jacob) was just sitting there waiting for him, stirring the stew. He knows Esau’s going to be hungry, needing food. “Oh–you want some stew???” And Esau puts the back of his hairy hand over his forehead, “Yes, please, some of that stew.”

Jacob, seeing his brother in distress, calmly says he’ll give him some stew. In exchange for his birthright. Esau in a dramatic fashion says, “I’m about to die! What good is my birthright!” And he did it, he signed over his birthright and he got his stew. Such brotherly care and affection. Jacob sold some stew to get what was already promised to him.

Another time, when these boys are in their forties, their mom talks Jacob into stealing Esau’s blessing from him. Isaac, their dad, is on his deathbed. Isaac is excited for Esau to bring him some tasty food he hunted and then give him the blessing. Meanwhile, while Esau is out hunting, Jacob dressed up like Esau with goat hair on his arms and wearing Esau’s outdoorsy clothes. He brings in some food that mom had sneakily prepared and tricks his father into giving Jacob the blessing intended for Esau.

Jacob tricks and steals in order to get what he was promised by God. This obviously infuriates Esau, and Jacob has to run for his life. He never saw his mother again. His dad didn’t give Esau any blessing because he gave it all to Jacob. Jacob’s brother hated him and wanted revenge–he wanted to kill him. What a mess.

Jacob put his own needs above the needs of everyone else. He protected himself. He did what he had to do in spite of the cost to his family and to his relationships. He did this all to get what he was already promised. And now, running away from everything he’s ever known, he meets God. Even after all of this, God speaks the blessing that he has been trying to get for himself all along:

He said, “I am the Lord, the God of your grandfather Abraham and the God of your father Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the ground you are lying on. Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west, east, north, and south. And so all the families of the earth may receive blessings through you and through your descendants. I am with you! I will protect you wherever you go and will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I promised you!” (Genesis 28:13-15)

I’m always surprised at this moment. Here, Jacob has done all these treacherous things. He’s betrayed his dad and his brother. He’s been deceptive. And here God speaks to him and promises that He’s with him. What was promised before he was born, still is. Even though Jacob has had a life of not trusting God’s help, of trying to get it on his own, the promise was still there. And Jacob is in awe. It seems like he has had a life-changing experience.

Then Jacob woke up and thought, “Surely the Lord is in this place, but I did not realize it!” He was afraid and said, “What an awesome place this is! This is nothing else than the house of God! This is the gate of heaven!” (Genesis 28:16-17)

Surely after a dream like that, Jacob would change, would never be the same again. Surely Jacob, knowing what he’s done and knowing that God is STILL with him, he’d surrender his life to Him. And maybe he did. Maybe he had a few good years of surrender.

But then he has a moment–so much more than a moment–when he is the one being deceived. When he fled Esau, his mom sent him to her brother Uncle Laban. Hopefully he would find a wife with his uncle’s people, would settle down and be okay. Then things would calm down, he would be blessed, and all would be better than ever.

Right away, he met the woman of his dreams, Rachel, at a well at the entrance of the city. He agreed to work for uncle Laban for 7 years to marry Rachel, but it only seemed like a few days because of his love for her.

So Jacob worked for seven years to acquire Rachel. But they seemed like only a few days to him because his love for her was so great. (Genesis 29:20)

But Laban tricked him and snuck in her sister Leah to marry Jacob. The day after the wedding, he realized that he had married Leah and not Rachel. Obviously Jacob was upset, so Laban said, “Agree to work for me another 7 years and you can also marry Rachel.” And Jacob agrees, and marries Rachel the next week.

And he loved Rachel more. And he worked for Laban for 7 more years. And we repeat some of the same patterns of favoritism with Rachel and Leah. Laban used people to get what he wanted, like his daughters to keep Jacob working for him for 14 years. And a new sibling rivalry grew between Leah and Rachel. Leah wasn’t loved by Jacob, but she had many children. Rachel was Jacob’s favorite, loved by Jacob, but she couldn’t have children. Both women were jealous of each other, hurt by their father and their husband. Once sisters that grew up together, now they were wives seeking their husband’s affection and desiring to be valued. What a mess.

All these things eventually led to 10 brothers throwing their 11th brother into a pit and selling him off into slavery (Joseph). When we look at this whole story, we understand even more how redemptive the story of Joseph was. This family, this cunning family, had a promise, but over and over again they only looked out for themselves. Even though their purpose, part of their promise, was to be a blessing to all nations. they are only looking for how they themselves can be blessed.

Years pass. Jacob is nudged by God to go back home. He makes an arrangement with his father-in-law that on his departure, he can take all the spotted sheep and goats. Again, Jacob goes to work to get what God has promised. He comes up with a way to produce a disproportionate number of spotted sheep and goats (tree bark impacting DNA–strange, I know). He tricked his father-in-law. He again was working, conniving, and pushing to get what God had long ago promised.

After his leaving, the story is not over. Jacob is returning home. He is in the desert, still afraid to return to Esau. And as he is approaching home, he hears that Esau is on his way out to meet him. Last he heard, Esau wanted to kill him, so he sends his servants ahead of him, with oxen, sheep, donkeys, and servants, hoping he’d find favor with Esau. But Esau is already on his way to Jacob, with 400 men.

So Jacob is now terrified. He divides his camp and sends them towards Esau, thinking if they kill one camp, the other will survive. And he sends groups off ahead of him one by one, his servants, his animals, his wives. He sends them ahead to the man he’s afraid wants to kill him. He sends them to meet Esau first. And Jacob was left all alone. And then we have another story of Jacob wrestling, this time with God. Jacob is woken up to a man who wants to FIGHT:

Then a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he could not defeat Jacob, he struck the socket of his hip so the socket of Jacob’s hip was dislocated while he wrestled with him. Then the man said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking.” “I will not let you go,” Jacob replied, “unless you bless me.” The man asked him, “What is your name?” He answered, “Jacob.” “No longer will your name be Jacob,” the man told him, “but Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked, “Please tell me your name.” “Why do you ask my name?” the man replied. Then he blessed Jacob there. So Jacob named the place Peniel, explaining, “Certainly I have seen God face to face and have survived.” (Genesis 32:24-30)

He’s alone in a desert and a man comes and wrestles him until the break of dawn.

And the story says, this man was God. God and Jacob wrestled all night, and still, Jacob didn’t give in. He’d been fighting his whole life to accomplish on his own all the things already promised to him. What is he battling for? What is he holding on to so tightly that he refuses to give in when God comes to wrestle him?

He knows that all he has is from God. He knows that God has blessed him. You have to bless me! WAIT–he is demanding what he has already had for his entire life! Finally, God says, okay. You win. It’s all you, Jacob. But first, I’m just going to put this hip out of the socket.

And commentaries I’ve read say that this wasn’t just his hip that he injured, but it was his reproductive abilities. He was promised that he’d have many descendants, just like Abraham, and being able to reproduce was a part of that promise. Now he had to trust that God was going to do what he promised, that it wasn’t all up to Jacob to fulfill the promise God made, that he actually couldn’t control the promise.

And at this moment it’s a reminder of our own junk. It’s a reminder that this person you’re standing in front of, that you care about, that their needs matter. That sometimes it’s important to put their needs above your own. That sometimes your own stuff, like needing to control, or needing to protect yourself, or needing to be right, gets in the way of relationships.

And here Jacob, his need to control, his need to be right, his need to protect himself, his need to do it all himself, gets in the way of his relationship with God. So God responds by making Jacob need him. You can’t get yourself out of the way, Jacob, so here I’m going to make you get yourself out of the way.

Now Jacob, walking with a limp, is on his way to meet his brother, the brother he’s been running from for 20 years and is terrified to meet. With the limp. With the NEED for God.

But Esau ran to meet him, embraced him, hugged his neck, and kissed him. Then they both wept. (Genesis 33:4)

There is so much here, but let’s process for a moment. Remembering the theme of this story, that God promised blessing for Jacob and then Jacob spent his life working to try to get what he was already promised:

How do you identify with Jacob?

What triggers you to not trust God and to take on life’s battles on your own?

I would love it if understanding and resolve would equal direct life change: I see that this is important, so I do it. But it is almost never that simple. Building a pattern of behavior is a lot of work and takes a ton of intentionality. I see that God is wanting to help; I should accept his help… Not that simple.

Building a pattern of behavior is a lot of work and takes a ton of intentionality. How do we get there?

What is key for you in building a pattern of accepting God’s help?

Let’s bring it all together in a final question–a challenge to create a new and greater trust in God’s help and partnership with you. As I hand this over to you, hear these words from Proverbs:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

What are you feeling nudged to trust God with today?

What are you feeling nudged to allow God to help you with?

How is that lived out?

Take It Deeper Questions

• Read 1 Samuel 17:31-45.
• Who is your favorite fictitious superhero? Why?
• What patterns had formed in David’s life in facing challenging situations?
• What patterns have formed in your life in facing challenging situations?
• What does it look like for you to trust God when you are facing an overwhelming situation?
• How can you intentionally be building that trust in God over the next weeks and months?
• How are you challenged, encouraged, focused, and/or confused by this text?
  

Bible Reading Plan

• 1 Kings 3
• 1 Kings 4
• 1 Kings 5
• 1 Kings 6
• 1 Kings 7